i remember you.

there was your warmth,
and there was darkness when you left.

Everything slipped away—
empty days, I lost it all.

We were as close as breath to skin,
perhaps even closer.

I liked your eyes watching me,
your hands touching me.
I spent many days thinking, longing, waiting.

In my sleep, I tried to forget—

a dream where you left the moment I opened my eyes.
It felt as if sleep was an escape,
in this silence, I glimpsed a light,
a way to live without you.
After all, it wasn't you.

I want to be fine without you.
As I tried to recall how things were between us,

how our eyes met,
how you stayed—
then it all got blurry.

A table for two,
unsettled emotions,

and how you broke me,
staring into my shadow.
I let it die there.

I wonder at this hour,
how have you been?

Maybe—

we were always just a maybe.

Since that day, I’ve been lost.

But still, I keep walking,
carrying a pain I will never fully understand.
And yet, I don't want to be fine without you.

--

a poetry i made back then. unpublished til now.

totally forgot how it felt like writing this back then, tapi karena bagus jadi di post.