31.5.19

life update

Hey.

I was not thinking about writing again but,

Semua hal dalam hidup, sekarang lagi cukup membebani pikiran gue.

Untuk karir, pertama kali gue ragu lagi. Entah sampai kapan akan terus begini, semacam rutinitas tanpa akhir yang walaupun gue sendiri enjoy melakukannya, tapi gak mungkin kan selamanya akan terus begini?

Untuk kesehatan diri gue, selalu susah tidur dan gak sehat. Tanpa gue sadari, gue melewati semua itu demi membentuk ilusi bahwa gue menghilangkan stres walaupun yang terjadi sebaliknya.

Gue juga lelah, untuk apa yang gue lakukan dianggap salah. Seakan manusia selalu harus sempurna.
Walau gue udah coba berkali-kali meyakinkan apa yang gue lakukan bukanlah hal yang buruk.
Karena gue manusia yang juga punya akal budi. Punya logika dan batas.

Tetapi sebagaimana pun pembelaan itu terjadi, gue yang tidak di percaya, terima kasih untuk itu.

You see, everything was all good and fine. If you can just stop spreading negativity about others.
Dengan kita rela untuk mengerem informasi yang menghancurkan, kita bisa menyelamatkan banyak perasaan.

Tapi kenapa harus diangkat? Sesuatu yang seharusnya tidak menyerang, tidak berpotensi untuk mengubah kedamaian.

I am open to judgement, but this is not how I can always stay defensive.
Sometimes I have to admit my mistakes, yet if its not who I am.

Is it wrong, if I fight for what is right?
Penulisjournal

29.12.18

Hiatus

And here goes my 2018s Resolution:

1. To join or work for some big-time videography company
2. Finding new source of income
3. Travel more, post more
4. Learn new skills other than video editing
5. Being together with her until next new year
6. Buy a proper editing laptop (But definitely not a macbook)
7. Create many visualstories for my Instagram (At least once a month)
8. Raise my Instagram followers to 2.000 or more (Which kinda sounds impossible... and useless)
9. Better than those amazing talented videographers on YouTube
10. Bahagia.

Hai.

Kenalin, gue Dion dan mungkin ini akan jadi post terakhir gue.
(Pasti aneh ya, untuk kalian yang baru pertama kali baca tapi tau-tau udah post terakhir aja, hahaha)

Anyway, gue berterima kasih banget buat siapapun yang menciptakan blogspot. Karena gue merasa curhat lewat ketikan jauh lebih seru ketimbang curhat sama manusia, walaupun yang baca blog ini ujung-ujungnya manusia juga.

Sedikit mengevaluasi resolusi tahun ini. Gue sekarang kerja di salah satu wedding vendor di Jakarta. Tentunya gue post lebih banyak tahun ini, walaupun kebanyakan adalah hasil kerjaan gue sendiri. 

Gue sempet ke Makasar, Puncak dan Bali tahun ini buat kerja dan jalan-jalan. Gak sempet belajar skill baru apa-apa, agak sedih karena sadar setahun berlalu sia-sia.

Nelen ludah sendiri, gue pake macbook sambil ngetik tulisan ini. Visualstories juga gak jalan, dikalahkan oleh deadline video kerjaan yang selalu menumpuk.

Followers gue, hampir 2 ribu lah. Sekarang sih udah 1.842.

Jadi, apakah gue bahagia?

Tahun ini membuat gue jadi bisa bacot buat ngobrol, semakin sombong dan receh.
Gue juga udah gak ragu sama diri sendiri dengan hasil video yang udah gue buat.

Mungkin tips untuk siapapun yang baca ini, semua hal akan sucks di awal, tapi ketika lu memutuskan untuk gak nyerah, lu akan sampai di titik dimana lu merasa proses itu yang terpenting, bukan tujuan akhirnya.

Menutup tahun ini, gue juga mau menutup kebiasaan gue untuk menulis. 
Gue memulai wadah ini dari SMP sampe sekarang udah jadi mahasiswa semester akhir. Tujuh tahun gue bercerita di blog ini supaya gue gak lupa apa aja yang udah gue lewatin selama ini.

Sekarang gue udah bisa mengingatnya sendiri, lewat video-video yang gue buat. Simpelnya, gue sekarang menulis melalui visual.


Resolusi gue untuk 2019:
1. Buka studio foto
2. Jalan ke luar negeri
3. Bisa main piano
4. Youtube 100 subscribers
5. Buka restoran
6. Jadi pembicara
7. Punya apartemen
8. Belajar bahasa Mandarin
9. Kenal lebih banyak orang lagi
10. Tetap bahagia.

Sampai bertemu lagi,
Penulisjournal.

20.10.18

Bahagia.

Aku, bahagia.

Dalam novel tahun ini, setiap chapter memiliki keunikannya masing-masing.
Sebagai penulis, aku puas dengan penempatan setiap cerita yang saling melengkapi.

Aku telah menghilang untuk waktu yang cukup lama.
Namun aku tak merasa kehilangan.

Entah berapa lama aku melupakan rasanya api.
Semangatku yang meluap, serta lupa akan ketakutan.

Aku yang dahulu, rapuh.
Aku yang kini, bahagia.

Penulisjournal.

6.9.18

Untuk memori di masa lalu

Gue kangen sama semua kebodohan yang sempat tertuang dalam blog ini. Inilah yang membuat gue kembali menulis untuk satu kali lagi.

Kepada memori Senin pagi saat aku mengendarai motor,
Terkena kepulan asap hingga melepas helm dan bergerak masuk ke dalam ruang kelas,
Duduk pada bangku yang sama,
Menunggu dering bel sambil menahan rasa kantuk,
Tak terasa waktuku tiba untuk makan,
Bersama mereka yang selalu tertawa bersamaku.

Ketika kelas berakhir, semua menjadi sebuah petualangan dengan memori yang berbeda-beda.
Pergi nonton, makan es krim, shisha, pergi les, curhat, nongkrong atau mungkin muay thai.

Hahaha, gue kangen banget.

Apa kabarmu sekarang? siapapun yang sedang membaca tulisan ini? Gue tau sih yang baca blog gue paling itu-itu doang juga hahaha, anyway welcome back if you are reading this.

Now everything seems so off, don't you think?

Waktu yang udah terlewati ini membuat gue bukanlah gue yang dulu lagi.
Dan pastinya juga, kalian yang membaca ini udah banyak berubah... mungkin gue sendiri juga akan takut bila bertemu dengan kalian.

Karena gue... takut untuk menghadapi dan menerima, perubahan yang telah terjadi.

Apa kabar?
Penulisjournal.

31.12.17

A New Hope for 2018.

I gotta take notes at my number of followers on Instagram: 612 followers, just curious to see how it will change next year.

RE SO LU SI - 20 17:
1. Bikin minimal 2 video setiap bulan. Upload to YouTube. Grow channel. Just to show-off some skills.
2. Work-out at least once per week. (Which is alr supposed to be easy...)
3. Create a team of people with the same successful mindset through videos.
4. Menang lomba dan mencoba buat gabung di organisasi lain.
5. Still going out with you no matter how crazy or fucked-up shits may happen.
6. Bisa jalan ke luar Indonesia min 1x tahun ini.
7. Beneran jadi volunteer. Harus. Ikut. Minimal. Sekali. Seumur. Hidup.
8. Minimal ada 40 posts di Blog tahun ini.
9. Belajar banyak dari kelas Advertising.
10. Bahagia.

Satu poin terpenting yang patut dirayakan adalah... followers Instagram gue sekarang berjumlah 985!!! 

(Okay, that was my narcissistic side speaking.)

As I read most of my points, I realized that this year might be one of the biggest change in my life.
I did not realize how many new things happened to me this year.

I joined two new organizations this year, through those I find new faces (Or you can also say new Instagram followers). I didn't write a lot on this space, I tried to move this blog to an Instagram format yet I got lazy and somehow forgot the password to that account.

For the first time I joined a volunteer activity called ETKTD. It was fun, I created 2 videos for their publicity and I know that I am truly happy that there are still some good souls that still want to bring help to others in need in this messed-up society.

I won a competition out of luck(?), a spelling bee competition which sounds like kindergarten thing but still its fun. Sadly I haven't made it travelling out from Indonesia once. Yeah, maybe next year. Who knows whats gonna happen.

YouTube thing, I never did start my channel this year. I didn't find any person that suits my idea and skills as well. I didn't do much workout. I got this one month full of cycling then suddenly I got really busy and those motivation of getting fitter just fades away. Anyway my advertising class taught me less than I expected. I still feel that I actually learned something but I hope that next year things will be more challenging.

However, I did feel happy by the end of this year. This year will be 8.3/10. I worked as an event videographer, made some commercial video for some clothing company, becoming part of documentation team on my organizations, and moreover I got recognition through what I made. Theres also a chance that I will become part of documentation for The Script's upcoming concert so wish me luck!

This year, I am becoming my real self. I am becoming more human.

And here goes my 2018s Resolution:

1. To join or work for some big-time videography company
2. Finding new source of income
3. Travel more, post more
4. Learn new skills other than video editing
5. Being together with her until next new year
6. Buy a proper editing laptop (But definitely not a macbook)
7. Create many visualstories for my Instagram (At least once a month)
8. Raise my Instagram followers to 2.000 or more (Which kinda sounds impossible... and useless)
9. Better than those amazing talented videographers on YouTube
10. Bahagia.

Last year I was to scared to hope. This year I hope that next year will give me more than what I had hope.

To 2018 and beyond,
Penulisjournal.

7.6.17

i am (not-so) fat

I reached 70.8 kg today.

(Iya, gue shock banget.)

(Kayaknya terakhir kali nimbang sekitar bulan lalu, berat gue masih di kisaran 65-66 kg. Like, is this even possible?)

I noticed that the last few days (Okay... maybe also the last few months) that I've been eating more than usual. Mungkin karena lagi UAS, tingkat stres sedikit meningkat dan cara melampiaskan yang paling umum dan manusiawi adalah dengan makan.

*Elus perut*

Dan beberapa perubahan ekstrim selain double chin gue ternyata telah berevolusi jadi triple chin adalah... baju gue mulai banyak yang menolak untuk dipakai.

Hampir semua kaos favorit gue membuat tubuh gue terlihat buruk. Kaos favorit gue mendadak gak jadi favorit lagi.

Rasanya malu banget berjalan dengan badan yang membengkak ini, dua tips jenius terlihat kurus (sementara) adalah pakailah baju berwarna hitam dan pakailah jaket bomber. (Kenapa harus bomber? Karena lagi nge-trend.)

Baju yang udah gak muat membuat gue (sangat) bertekad untuk kurusin badan lagi, karena sebagai seorang cipe (Baca: cina pelit) profesional tentu gue diajarkan untuk gak beli baju baru kecuali udah sincia.

oh i am so sad, why i got fat,
Penulisjournal.

29.4.17

vow

When I was young, listening to a marriage vow do sounds cringy as hell.


"To have and to hold, from this day forward,  
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer
in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

But now that I think of it, those who says those words are courageous motherfuckers.

They are brave enough to say, "I'll be yours even if you got broke." 
"It doesn't bother me if you lose a leg or an arm, we're still be together."
"If you get uglier, thats even better."

So what does it takes for a love to exists?
Is it about how much you give to one another? or is it about what you give?

After time, it will come the day that he will asked himself, "Does he deserves her love?"

Do I?
Penulisjournal.

Who are you?

I have to be honest with you,

I don't have any plans on where to go and what to do.
I feel less happy than last year.
I am afraid of having to hold onto you this year.

I know, we are different.
You with your knives and me with my capturing machine.

And have you ever thought of why most Disney movie plots starts with a princess and her prince?
Because then, they will already have everything.

They didn't have to think on how to buy each dress or coats, and how to pay for each celebrations.
Its fiction, happiness, everything are inherited.
You still can talk of living your dreams and fantasies, because you have it. You are just like them.

But I... am not.

Am I happy with you? you don't have to ask.
Do I like you? more than you could ever imagine.
But will I be with you until the end? 

"Yes, I will." Said his imagination.

But in reality, we will never know. 
Penulisjournal.

15.3.17

moving pictures

Udah basi banget sih kalo gue baru bahas sekarang...

But I finally got my first bokeh-acceptable mirrorless camera aka Canon EOS M10 (Bcs all that matters is as long as kameranya bisa atur exposure and create bokeh, then it's a camera for me.)

One thing yang paling gue suka dari kameranya adalah fitur touch-screen dan flip screen. Karena dibanding kamera 20 juta temen gue (Sony A7S) yang layarnya gak bisa dikeluarin dan diteken-teken, paling enggak ada sisi dimana gue bisa sombong sedikit, hehe.

Dari kamera itu gue udah buat beberapa video buat anak-anak gereja gue dan video volunteer untuk anak-anak English To Knock The Door.

Anyway, itu memang cuman test kamera, ibarat mobil yang baru di starter.

Sekarang ini gue lagi sibuknya mengurus konsep buat bikin satu channel (yang sepertinya akan digarap dengan lebih serius) dan gue super bahagia akhirnya ketemu satu temen yang punya passion sama seperti gue.

Gue gak tau kapan gue bakal upload videonya, semoga monthly bisa ada satu project yang jadi dan semoga lagi gue gak jadi procrastinator dan nyesel di akhir tahun seperti biasanya.

Camera, Roll, Action.
Penulisjournal.

i (didn't) win.

(Since it was an English speech competition that I've been working on. I'll write this on English as well.)

It was a very heartbreaking moment the way that you know there's always someone better than you. But I've never ever imagined that it would be a very big number of people. Out of 88 people, that day I probably ranked around 80-ish something. They were very fascinating yet intimidating at the same time.

Last February, I joined this competition called Asian English Olympics 2017 (AEO) as a speech participant. I wasn't in my best condition, I still got some fever left yet because I've been preparing this whole thing for a whole month (fyi, it's supposed to be holiday yet it doesn't feel like one at all), I feel tempted to keep going (and maybe also bcs i paid half the entrance fee, lol.)

I completely didn't make it anywhere, but I wasn't bad at all (#self-proclaimed), it's just they were better than me (this isn't an excuse).

I've learned that even losing sometimes taught you to keep going, no matter how hard things you'll face. And I'm supposed to join another speech competition this month... but I quit. (Ok, that wasn't very inspiring.)

Just because I don't feel like speech was my thing. And just because I feel that there are some things in life that you'll try, you'll suck at it. And that taught you some great lesson that even if you need to accept it the hard way, but after time you'll eventually get better and improved from those mistakes.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Penulisjournal.

8.2.17

Advertising

Pada akhirnya, setelah seluruh perdebatan dalam hati dan logika, gue mengambil advertising sebagai peminatan final. Alasan kenapa gue gak pilih jurnalistik:

Pas nonton berita Ahok blusukan, semua tangan wartawannya berkulit sawo matang. Kalau gue ikut mewawancara paling diusir karena malah dikira fans paslon bukan wartawan.

Alasan kenapa gue gak pilih public relation: karena gak suka berelasi dengan publik.

Alasan gue tetep kuliah: supaya bisa kerja dan dapet duit.

Memasuki hari pertama kuliah 3 hari lalu, beberapa factsnya adalah:

1. My body condition is not delicious (Baca: gak enak badan)
2. Gue hapal muka tapi gak hapal nama jadi kalo dipanggil gue cuman bisa bilang hai aja
3. Masih tetep telat masuk kuliah

Walau begitu gue seneng banget karena mata kuliah yang ada di semester ini memang benar-benar membuat gue tertarik dan termotivasi bangun pagi untuk pergi ke kuliah.

Dan in about 2 days gue bakal akhirnya memulai lomba speech gue, AEO. Scary as hell, nervous af. Sambil ngetik ini aja perut gue udah nendang-nendang. I hope somehow, I'll win this thing.

Wish me luck,
Penulisjournal.

life update

Hey. I was not thinking about writing again but, Semua hal dalam hidup, sekarang lagi cukup membebani pikiran gue. Untuk karir, perta...